You know what I'm sick of? Listening to all those sports-talk yokels drone on and on about double-standards. It's gotten so bad I can't even watch a football game anymore without upchucking.
Those yokels are acting like they discovered a new word and it's leaving me nauseated.
Oh, puhleeze.
It was, of course, a reaction to "Spygate," the confiscation of tapes the New England Patriots were making of the Jets' defensive signals 11 weeks ago. That led NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to levy fines of $500,000 against Bill Belichick, $250,000 against the team and take away New England's first-round draft pick.
Then about three weeks ago, a judge who sentenced Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid's sons to jail likened the coach's home to "a drug emporium" and questioned whether his adult sons should live there, given their drug problems.
ADVERTISEMENT
Then there was Tennessee Titan "Pacman" Jones's nightclub shooting case, the Michael Vick dog-fighting case, the Marion Jones tarnished gold medals case and the Barry Bonds federal indictment case. All the while these sports-talk yokels are whining about double-standards on how certain players and coaches are getting away with stuff while others are being punished.
Oh, be quiet already.
This past weekend we celebrated Thanksgiving with my wife's family at our home. While we were playing cards one night, I brought up the topic of double-standards and how it pertains to everyday life. Everybody at the table immediately jumped into the conversation with both serious and humorous examples.
Scott, my brother-in-law, said that you can always expect to get a speeding ticket unless you are a blond bombshell. My father-in-law Milo disagreed, saying you'd probably get off if you had a box of glazed donuts on the seat next to you. Not so, said my brother-in-law Shawn. He said that there was a study saying that people driving red, yellow or black colored cars are more likely to get pulled over because those colors are considered sporty and fast.
So does that mean if you're a law-abiding old man driving a yellow car, you're a menace to everyone on the road (or sidewalk) because the cops are color-blind?
My sister-in-law Jean brought up an issue in regards to a former pastor. This pastor every Sunday preached to his congregation about leading a pure, sin-free life all the while it became known that he was drinking, gambling and chasing tail at the local strip-club.
Are you sure he wasn't doing research for his upcoming sermon?
Another example is about a sports organization that posted a players code of conduct for its youth players. One of the rules clearly states that no use of alcohol, tobacco or drugs will be tolerated and will result in suspension from the team. I was told of a coach that was informed that one of his players was chewing tobacco in the locker room and offering it to others. Instead of abiding by the code of conduct, the coach makes the offending player the captain of the team.
ADVERTISEMENT
So does that mean some executive on tobacco road is dancing with glee and will offer the coach and player big bucks to endorse their product?
How about this, my brother-in-law Eric said, you're automatically the starter of your high school team if you have a certain last name. What, you're a 90-pound weakling and expected to put up a 1,000 yard performance just because your brute 245-pound running back cousin was the star of the team? Oh, the horror.
For hours, everyone at the table brought up hundreds of examples that have happened to them or someone they knew. In conclusion, we realize that double-standards are part of our life. As parents, we can fall in this trap (children accuse you of favoring one child over the other). Teachers (teacher's pets), coaches, bosses, co-workers, pastors, friends, children and even we, ourselves, are subject to double-standards whether we see it or not.
Today (Thursday) is Thanksgiving. Give thanks for your life, double-standards and all. After all, life would be quite boring if we didn't have double standards.
Now, if I can convince those sports-talk yokels that their co-workers are ready to back-stab them for a promotion, it might get them to quiet down and I'll be able to watch football this Thanksgiving without upchucking my turkey and sweet potatoes.
